Before I could start volunteering at the YMCA Preschool, I had to meet with the person in charge of the volunteers, who later became my supervisor. I had not volunteered in a few years and did not know what to expect, so I was a little bit nervous. I always try to enter situations as objectively as I can, but as I take in my surroundings, they affect how I relate to who I talk to. When I entered the preschool, it was a bit small, but cozy and there was art by the kids hanging on the wall. I started to get the feeling that this was a very friendly place and that I shouldn’t be nervous.
I did not want to have any judgments about the people there because I would be working with them and did not want my, what could be false, perceptions to get in the way of actually getting to know everyone. When I met my soon-to-be supervisor, I was greeted very warmly and enthusiastically. The interview was very short and did not let me get to know everyone there, but that happened as I volunteered. I think my supervisor was trying to be as objective as possible too because she was trying to get to know me during the interview. It definitely helps if both people in the conversation try to be object and not judge each other. The process to get to know one another goes much more smoothly if there is as little bias as possible and each person tries to put themselves in the other’s position.
I knew that working at a preschool would be a different experience for me. In a preschool, it is not about you, it is about the kids and helping them learn and grow. At one point during my interview, one of the kids interrupted and I was able to see that the number one priority at a preschool is to help the kids and making responsible choices when they are involved. I think working at a preschool definitely helps with humility because with kids, they don’t care about your status, they just want to play with you and have fun. Kids will accept you if you just talk to them and you do not have to worry about what they think of you. My first time meeting all the kids, I had to get used to that and after a while, I would try to approach people with the objectivity of a child.
I think that my supervisor and all the other teachers being around the children for so long helped them approach people objectively and see the best in others. I feel that is why they were able to accept me so quickly and not push for anything I wasn’t comfortable with.
Being with my friends, sometimes we might not get along, but I always think back to my volunteering days and try to see things in their perspective, keeping in mind the other’s best interest. If I get nervous about a conversation, I just think about taking things objectively and getting everyone’s point of view, rather than solely focusing on myself. If I am able to do that, problems can be solved much easier and everyone would be able to learn and grow from these lessons. Sometimes not everyone wants to cooperate and that makes it more difficult, but if I have the patience to listen carefully, hopefully, my friends will do the same too. A relationship involves more than one person, so if I am the only one willing to try to look at everything objectively, it will be a lot harder and take a lot longer to reach a point of mutual understanding.
A standard of love would be to try to approach things as objectively as possible and to stay patient because it takes time to love someone. I know that it is very hard to stay objective because as Fromm mentions, it is a skill, and most of us do not grow up practicing objectivity. It takes time to learn to be objective, especially since there are so many things that can get in our way, such as our own beliefs and our surrounding area. Since all this takes time, we have to have the patience to get to know each other objectively and be willing to invest time into it. In the modern day, everyone wants things to get done quickly and is not willing to wait for things, but if that time is taken, we can learn about the best in each other and have a relationship that will last and be enjoyed by all involved.
I can understand where you're coming from when you say you work with kids because it takes time to understand them. Especially since they are in a different age group, their minds think differently which causes you to learn their point of view. I agree when you say you have to take things objectively with the preschoolers and be able to apply that outside of it. It makes you more open-minded to others and not just to yourself. Everything in life whether it's relationships with a significant other, a friend, family or learning how to do something takes time, patience, and skills. The standards of love requires responsibility, honesty, trust, patience, openness, etc. So you're right when you say "We can learn about the best in each other" because it takes more than one to be able to develop these skills. The best way to grow is learn from others and yourself by being able to have an open-mind. Great learning experience, especially because you volunteered with kids and you were able to learn from them rather than just from older and "wiser" folks. The kids seemed like they were able to bring out a different perspective in relations to objectivity. Instead of just having to be serious all the time as a grown adult, the kids were able to show us that life doesn't always have to be all about business but to be able to let loose sometimes which teaches us humility. I volunteer with kids as well but in a hospital and they show me that they aren't afraid to be them while they are in play mode. Considering they are under different circumstances makes you open your eyes. You learn to be patient through them because they have to be patient themselves.
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