It's a Process

Ever since I was young, my parents have tried to shelter me and protect me from everything they thought was bad and didn’t want me to do. I know that they meant for it to help me, but in a way, it did some harm too. I have always listened to my parents and respected them, so I never really questioned it when I was younger. In fact, I didn’t even know I was being sheltered until around the end of my high school life, when I had to start doing things on my own.

The worrying and protecting mainly came from my mom. She is a bit of a worrywart. Growing up, she never let me carry heavy grocery bags because she was worried that I would hurt my arms from all the weight, so now, when I have to carry things, I feel as if my arms will fall off. My brother and I never had to do chores around the house. My mom would do all of the cleaning. As we grew up, our parents expected us to help around the house, but how would we help if we were never given the chance to learn. My brother and I ended up being spoiled in terms of labor work. We ended up being lazy and not having to clean up after ourselves. I personally do not like messes, so I do clean up after myself a bit, but even if I didn’t, my mom would clean up for me.

When I was younger, my parents always worried about who I was with and who I was hanging around with. They were always cautious of everything around me because they didn’t want anything to happen to me and they didn’t want me to see anything bad. They would always try to keep me from hearing swear words, even though I had heard them before. I was never allowed to sleep over at a friend’s house because they always worried. My parents don’t allow alcohol near me, even during family events, even though I have been offered alcohol from friends. My parents don’t know that, so they think something will happen to me if I just have a sip of alcohol.

My parents always helped me with everything, but as I grew older, they would say that I’m supposed to know all this stuff because I’m older now. I never had the chance to learn and develop some basic skills to take care of myself while growing up, so how would I just suddenly know how to do it? When I finally realized that I would be going to college soon and have to rely on myself for things, I tried to start doing things on my own. Even now, my parents try to protect and shelter me from everything. I think they are finally realizing that I am a grown up and will have to stop sheltering me. It is a slow process for both sides to get used to, but it is a process, nonetheless.

There was some good and some bad that came with the sheltering and protecting. From all this, I learned to take my parents’ extremes of protection and sort it out to a reasonable level. I am cautious of my surroundings, but not overly so. I know, on my own, the things to stay away from and the things that will not do me serious harm.

In no way am I fully out of this cave. I know it will be a process. As long as I know the process has started, I feel that sooner or later, I will be able to escape this cave.